Taking ownership of one's own life begins with knowing (and accepting) the current landscape for what it is.
What does that REALLY mean, anyway?
It means, for starts, that YOU are literally not the center of the universe. Unless you are a minor child living with legally responsible adults, NOBODY owes you anything. If you sit in a classroom and elect not to apply yourself to the material at hand, that's on you. If you don't respect yourself, don't expect others to respect you. If you don't take chances, don't listen with the intent of understanding what others are trying to convey, take inappropriate shortcuts, and behave as if the world owes you, I assure you, you are going to be disappointed. On a regular basis.
It also means a general acceptance of the things you can not change, versus the things that you can. If you are 34, 4' 11" and 200 lbs, don't expect the NBA to ring your phone off of the hook to secure you a place on the starting roster. If you live in a town in which there is 20%+ unemployment, and you happen to be a part of that statistic, there is a strong probability that gaining decent work may need to begin with a change of location.
Didn't go to college? Well, Michael Dell, Rush Limbaugh, and so many others didn't walk across a stage, but life still managed to turn out well for them. And, check it out: none of them necessarily won the sperm lottery of being born into wealth.
Here's a novel idea: Utilize the resources at hand to build up and shape the future of YOUR desire, rather than the circumstances of today shape that future for you. It starts with a personal inventory of your assets and strengths, and putting them to work for you. Surround yourself with people who are either actively (that's the key part) going in the same direction, or who have already made the journey and are waiting for you at the finish line.
If you find something that gives you passion, pursue it. If you find yourself lacking in imagination, find someone who has it in mass quantities, with plenty to spare. But whatever you do, don't expect your government to actively lend you a hand in a timely manner. They may be obligated to give you the equal opportunity, but that doesn't mean that they are required to give you an equality of outcome. Rinse and repeat.
The sooner you start, the sooner you will get to where you want to go, and you will be in the presence of encouragement, not envy and despair.
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Don't have a boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or partner? Last time I checked, there were over 7 billion people on the planet, with at least 310 million of them in this part of North America. There are literally plenty of folks to go around, if you are willing to do your due dilligence. But please, DON'T inflict yourself on anyone else until you like yourself enough to share your brains, your brawn, and your heart.
Having "great chemistry" is a fancy way of saying that your exterior finishes are doing the job of keeping the mutual interests of someone else. If you aren't working on building up and/or maintaining the good stuff, how the heck can you expect anyone else to do the same for you?
But it goes beyond the superficial: Your personality is unique and separates YOU from the rest of humanity. Father Time will eventually take away what Mother Nature gave you, but it is your words and actions that will attract and/or repeal people over time, and that clock began ticking downward the moment you popped out of the womb.
I recently posted about the need to keep negative people out of your life. True advice from the heart, folks. While it is okay to have a "Devil's Advocate" of sorts, the person who constantly whines about the suckage of life, while doing nothing to change the conditions to point of "WINNING," well that person needs to be given the pink slip from your presence. Seriously.
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It is a brand new year, and so many opportunities await us all. Let us all begin by removing the baggage of years past, and prepare for a shiny future built upon the actions of today. That literally begins with attitude, and follows up with real, consistant action, built upon a foundation of a loving support from family and friends.
Live like you really mean it. Not just for today, but for always.